779. That’s the number of days I’m given myself until my I reach my first short term goal. It’s exactly two years one month and 19 days away.
Now, I have to map out my goals. Short term, long term and otherwise. I’ll be back.
Having just moved into my new place, it is still a little sketchy trying to figure out what my monthly electric, water and gas bills are going to be. But I’ve made a few estimates based on information I received from the apartment complex I live in. So, monthly expenses:
Rent - $905
Water - $38
Electricity - $75 (average over 12 months)
Auto/Insurance/Fuel/Maintenance - $425 (adding a teenage boy is KILLER!)
Groceries - $380 (personal care items are added in this figure)
Cell Phones - $180
Student Loan - $122
Music Lessons - $270
Entertainment/Dining - $100
Clothing/haircuts/cosmetics - $180
Total monthly expenses: $2675
Not bad, but it could be much better. The things I can’t control: Rent, Student Loan (Unless I pay extra to pay off early), Auto (ditto), and music lessons. Everything else is easily reduced by making some simple changes over the next few months, like coupon clipping regularly, cutting back on entertainment and dining out, making sure to only run one major appliance at a time, lowering the thermostat in the winter and raising it in the summer, and checking out other insurance companies for car/renter’s insurance. Another thing I need to look into is a new cell phone carrier or possibly lowering my minutes.
So with a few minor changes, I should be able to cut back on some expenses and put the extra toward my first goal, a six month buffer of $15K (a good round number with room to breath).
Having this goal is really great. It gives me something to look forward to and be excited about. However, the reality of my financial situation is starting to creep up on me.
While I make a relatively good salary for what I do, I know this won’t even begin to cut it if I want to realistically buy and/or build a Bed & Breakfast. Not unless I want to live well below my means and have 150% luck when it comes to investing and savings returns. Not that I couldn’t do it at all, it just may take a lot longer than I realized.
Which brings me to a problem I have been trying to tackle for a little over a year now: my personal finances. I’d really love to be more financially literate as well as learn ways in which I can enjoy myself now AND when I retire. I’m not especially good with finances. I come from a family that doesn’t believe in saving, only in spending. And since I have a child to worry about, I’d really like to teach him how to be financially independent from the beginning. I don’t want him to make the same mistakes I made. I want him to know going in to adulthood exactly how important it is for him to keep his financial wits about him.
So I’m going to focus on personal finances for a little while and use this blog to track progress and education. My first goal is to reduce my monthly “frivolous” spending habits.
Since moving in to my apartment, I have cut quite a few things. I don’t pay for cable, I don’t have a land line phone, internet was included with my apartment so I also was able to cut that bill. Now that there are only two of us, my electric and water bills should be reduced by about 2/3. However, I have a couple of months before I can get a good grasp on those to trends. I live closer to work now and in the summer time plan to walk to work at least two days a week, cutting my gasoline expenses.
One of my biggest “frivolous” purchases is lunch. I often don’t bother with making lunch in the morning so am left to buying lunch at one of the many restaurants around me. Some weeks I can spend upwards of $30/week on lunch alone. $6 a day for lunch is pretty excessive.
Another one of my problems is saying no to Joey. Actually, that’s my biggest problem. So I’ve devised a plan to hopefully offset some of those costs and help me keep him in line with a spending plan of his own.
Tomorrow I’ll start by posting my monthly expenses. I’m hoping to come up with a spending plan that is both realistic and helpful in getting me on track with two financial goals:
1. Six month emergency fund
2. Incidental emergency fund
So to finish up the “reasons people fail” post of a few weeks ago, here are reasons 9 and 10 and my response to how they affect me:
9. Trying To Do It All Alone
Nobody goes through life alone, we all need the cooperation and assistance of others. Put your pride aside and learn to ask for help when you need it. Learn to leverage and share knowledge for your own well being as well as for others who are dependent upon your cooperation.
This could be difficult for me. I’m more of a “lone ranger” when it comes to projects or goals. I generally don’t like other people interfering in my work, and usually, when someone does offer help and I accept, I end up re-doing all their work because it’s not up to my expectations. Plus I’m a hoverer. I tend to stand over shoulders when I know someone is participating in something with my name on it. Obviously, this will be something I need help with, but hopefully, that “help” can be kept to a minimum….or I may have to find myself a new goal.
10. Fear Of Failure
Fear of failure is The “Grand Daddy” of them all. Far too many dreams have suffocated and died because of it. Fear resides where knowledge does not exist; the more you know about anything the less intimidated that you feel. Replace your fears with knowledge and watch your performance leap.
Jackpot. This is my biggest problem. As soon as the going gets tough and it looks like failure is on the horizon, I give up. I don’t want to feel like a failure so I often don’t even try. This is a huge obstacle for me, but I’m hoping my desire for the end result will far outweigh the fear of failure I may experience along the way.
So it’s been a while since I’ve updated, but only because of my recent change in residence and all the crap that’s associated with moving. But I’m back. And I’m bad. 
Anyway, since the next five reasons are relatively short answers for me, I’ve decided to combine them into one post. So here goes:
4. Reasons “Why” Are Unclear
Why you want to achieve a goal is more important than the goal itself. Before taking action on anything it is imperative that you ask yourself this key question: “Why do I want to achieve this goal?”
Why do I want to achieve this goal? Because I want to have control over my destiny. I want to be able to control my work environment and be answerable to myself for any decisions I need to make reagarding my business. That’s it in a nutshell. Other reasons are: wanting a short commute (what’s better than working out of your own home?), wanting to interact with other people, implementing new ideas into a profitable business, and wanting to work in attractive surroundings.
5. Denial of Reality
It’s far easier to deny reality than it is to accept it. And far too many people take what seems like the easy way out. Success is information dependent, when we deny reality for whatever reason, we devalue the integrity of our information, thus ensuring failure.
Make no mistake, this is not going to be easy, and I know it. I have in the past wanted to take the easy way out of situations, mostly because I’m a perfectionist who wants things to be a certain way, and if they’re not going to be, then I give up and don’t even try. So I know the reality of the situation, and I’m prepared to make this change.
6. Conflicting Values
When we have not clarified our reasons why or defined what success means to us personally, we operate on someone else’s definition. When that occurs values are sure to be in conflict and progress is short- circuited.
Nope…I’ve got my values firmly in tact and know exacly what I want and how I define it.
7. Diffusion of Energy
Attempting to do too much is a recipe for mediocrity. Rather than doing an excellent job at a few chosen goals we spread our energies over a vast terrain and diffuse what matters most; time and energy.
I’m usually the girl who goes gung ho into a situation then realizes I can’t do everything at once and give up. I’m a real “instant gratification” seeker. But this project is about taking it slow. Learning as much as possible and only when I have all my i’s dotted and t’s crossed, will I proceed to the next step.
8. Lack of Focus
Success demands focus. It is the hallmark of all truly great people. Your ability to get and remain focused or lack there of is perhaps the key determinant of your success.
I admit I have a hard time with focus. I get so excited about a project or potential idea that I lose the focus of the big picture and that leads to ultimate failure. And I don’t want that with this. I want to stay focused on the end result, but only through small steps to get there. Since I know this about myself, I know I can make this happen.
Continuing my path to finding out my reasons for not getting to my ultimate goal, here’s reason number 3 on why people fail at reaching their goals.
3. Unrealistic Timeframes and Expectations
Life is a process not an event. Nothing great was ever built easily. Exercise wisdom and learn to be patient. Unfortunately most things in life take longer and cost more than the best-laid plans anticipate.
Here is where I stumble. A LOT. I have unreaslistic expectations almost every day. And timeframes? Fugghedaboutit. Because of my natural excitable personality, I find something I like or something I want to do and go gung ho for a little while (usually a VERY little while) and then move on to something else “new and exciting.” I never give myself or the project time to grow and evolve. I never wait for the newness of something to wear off before I begin to get excited. And then, when I am not getting what I want out of whatever it is, I leave it abandoned and used. Never to return to it again.
For example, I got super excited about crocheting about three years ago. I was a scarf making fool. I believe at one point I had about 25 scarves just lying around. I had plans to learn how to make afghans and sweaters, socks and hats, mittens and potholders. Only, once I realized there was actual learning I would have to do, and I wasn’t able to catch on as quickly as I’d wanted to, I gave up. Now I have at least five bags full of yarn sitting in the back of my closet, forlorn and sad. And it’s pretty stuff too. *Sigh.
Anyway, I’d really like to learn how to slow down. Take a deep breath between the discovery phase and the learning phase. Just learn how to go with the flow and when frustration sets in, know that I can get past it.
Continuing with my breakdown of getting to my goal and trying to work through the reasons I’ve had in the past for failure, here’s #2 in the Top Ten Reasons Why People Fail, as told by me.
2. Planning Without Taking Action
Endless preparation is worse than action without planning. Accept that things will never be perfect. Questions will forever exist. Plan well and launch!
I’ve never been one to prepare too much. I mean, there’s planning and then there’s obsessiveness. I’ve always been more on the obsessively “active” side than planning. So, while I have made plans and never taken action on them, I’ve never made plans to such a degree that taking no action was viewed by me as a waste of time.
I’ve always felt like plans were a way to make sure you were doing what you’re meant to do. Or what you really want to do. And over the course of those plans, sometimes you find that it’s not really what you thought it would be and you change course to something else. Not a failure, but an adjustment.
At least that’s how I’m going to look at it.
On Friday, I published a great list from the Goals Guy on the Top Ten Reasons People Fail. I’ve had a problem with every single one of the reasons listed and hopefully, by working through each one, I’ll get closer to my goal.
Reason #1:
1. Taking Action Without Planning
When it comes to your goals and future, impulsiveness is the mother of regret. Considerable thought must be given to the ends as well as the means of your strategy.
While I have taken action before, without planning things thoroughly, most of the time it works out. Mostly because the action I take has very little risk involved. I try to plan things out. I really do. But I get so excited about something that there are times I JUST CAN’T WAIT!
Slowing down and taking my time is hard. Really hard. I have no patience when it comes to building a plan. I can do it for other people. I can plan for someone else all day long and not have a problem. But when it comes to my own plans, I am the most impatient person in the world.
So part of my process here is learning how to take things one day at a time and use the planning process before the action process. Hopefully, I’ll gain some patience along the way.
In checking out the Goals Guy website, I came across this list of Ten Reason why Poeple Fail. I find it interesting because every one of these steps is something I’ve experienced. Over the next few days, I’m going to use each one and try to come up with a better “Goals” plan.
1. Taking Action Without Planning
When it comes to your goals and future, impulsiveness is the mother of regret. Considerable thought must be given to the ends as well as the means of your strategy.
2. Planning Without Taking Action
Endless preparation is worse than action without planning. Accept that things will never be perfect. Questions will forever exist. Plan well and launch!
3. Unrealistic Timeframes and Expectations
Life is a process not an event. Nothing great was ever built easily. Exercise wisdom and learn to be patient. Unfortunately most things in life take longer and cost more than the best-laid plans anticipate.
4. Reasons “Why” Are Unclear
Why you want to achieve a goal is more important than the goal itself. Before taking action on anything it is imperative that you ask yourself this key question: “Why do I want to achieve this goal?”
5. Denial of Reality
It’s far easier to deny reality than it is to accept it. And far too many people take what seems like the easy way out. Success is information dependent, when we deny reality for whatever reason, we devalue the integrity of our information, thus ensuring failure.
6. Conflicting Values
When we have not clarified our reasons why or defined what success means to us personally, we operate on someone else’s definition. When that occurs values are sure to be in conflict and progress is short- circuited.
7. Diffusion of Energy
Attempting to do too much is a recipe for mediocrity. Rather than doing an excellent job at a few chosen goals we spread our energies over a vast terrain and diffuse what matters most; time and energy.
8. Lack of Focus
Success demands focus. It is the hallmark of all truly great people. Your ability to get and remain focused or lack there of is perhaps the key determinant of your success.
9. Trying To Do It All Alone
Nobody goes through life alone, we all need the cooperation and assistance of others. Put your pride aside and learn to ask for help when you need it. Learn to leverage and share knowledge for your own well being as well as for others who are dependent upon your cooperation.
10. Fear Of Failure
Fear of failure is The “Grand Daddy” of them all. Far too many dreams have suffocated and died because of it. Fear resides where knowledge does not exist; the more you know about anything the less intimidated that you feel. Replace your fears with knowledge and watch your performance leap.
Gary Ryan Blair is President of The GoalsGuy. He helps business owners, corporate executives and sales professionals manage their time, set their priorities, and stay focused so they can achieve their goals, grow their business, and be more successful. Gary can be reached for speaking, coaching and media requests at 877-462-5748 or by sending an email to Gary@GoalsGuy.com
I’ve been thinking about this venture a lot. And it’s hard for me to not get ahead of myself. Like most people, I’m really in to instant gratification. Not only that, but I’m also in to quick results. For instance, when I decide to lose weight, I want to see all that weight come off by Friday. And usually my diet starts on Thursday.
So I have a lot of unrealistic expectations most of the time. It’s hard for me to get into a mindset that “slow and steady wins the race.” I really hate that term but it’s so true.
So for now, I have to remember this won’t happen this month or this year or even in five years. It’s going to take time. And in that time, I have to figure out ways to cope with the wait.
Of course, me being who I am, I will probably change my mind 100 times or more between now and the time I’m ready to make a break into something bigger and better. And maybe it won’t be a Bed & Breakfast. Or a job at Disney. It may be something completely out there. Which isn’t a far stretch for me.
